2000Great.... to 2000Hate

We had such high hopes for the year. Most went unfufilled. I'm still working at the same boring job in the same uninteresting field. I made lots of new friends this year. Trimmed the fat from the rest of the stock, which is exactly what I needed to get my head on straight. Reconnected with some oldies but goodies. Picked up the bass again. Started riding my bike a whole bunch. Totaled a truck. Bought some guitars. Formed relationships that I hope are as deep as they feel at this very moment.

There are other things I'd rather not go into detail about. Having my heart broken. Watching my father slip away slowly and painfully. Mourning over the past. Visiting too many hospitals. Fallen idols, wreckless decisions and the like.

This year was supposed to mean something. Supposed to be the beginning of a chapter in my life. A step in the right direction. And as I look back on 2008, the only thing I can really say about it is I hope that 2009 does not follow suit. Perhaps it is a new beginning. The chapter of a book that starts out sad and lonely, and ends on a high note. Our hero, beat down and defeated, will rise from the ashes of mediocrity and strive for something she's destined for. Reach for that brass ring the wind keeps blowing just out of reach. Because we've all got to have something to hope for.

I'm a stronger gal than I was 12 months ago. More self-assured, more indignant. For better or for worse, I'm a different person and at 26 (a mere 2 months shy of 27) I can finally say I understand that life is an ever evolving, ever changing thing. Outlooks and opinions should not be concrete. They should not be rigid. They should not be steadfast. Life changes, and so should your actions. The past is what it is, and what it always will be. Your future is the only thing you have control over... and even that is limited to your ability to recognize and act upon it. Something I've taken for granted in my formative years.

So, for 2009, I wish myself the best of luck. The strength to do what needs to be done. The courage to see it through. The wisdom to choose between right and wrong, and the heart to keep on moving.

I wish all of you the same.